Night Out with Ambiguous Gender Person

I just had one of my most bizarre nights ever a couple of days ago.  I drove to and back Santa Cruz for an hour and a half with a stranger in my car.  And the stranger would not leave my car for a good 30 minutes.  This was how it all started:

I was spending one of my weeknights at Starbucks, grinding away at preparations for an upcoming event in front of my laptop.  I saw this person in the corner, drinking a coffee.  I noticed immediately the gender queer nature of this person.  I was debating in my mind whether this person was a butch-like lesbian or a trans FTM individual.  During the entire time, this person walked back and forth, in and out.  I thought this person might have been hitting on the barrista a couple of times.

I packed up during closing time.  Just when I was ready to leave, the person, let’s call Sam, who was sitting next to me at this point, asked me for a ride home.  I asked Sam where did they want to go, and Sam said home was seven blocks away.  Perhaps feeling a bit kind, probably a tad bored looking for excitement, and most definitely fueled by Sam’s gender/sexual ambiguity, I agreed.

And there the adventure started!  Seven blocks begat “by the expressway” begat “off the freeway.”  At no time did I get a clear answer where was the destination.  Sam was clearly very high or very mentally ill.  Eventually, I drove far enough along the freeway that I was stuck going to Santa Cruz.  Sam’s heavy leather jacket covered any possible gender identification.  Sam had a deep feminine voice with shaggy hair.  Sam smelled of liquor.

I finally threatened to drop Sam off at the first gas station in Santa Cruz.  After a bit of arguing, I agreed to take Sam back to the Starbucks from which we originally left.  “Homeless shelter” begat “best friend’s place.”  Everything Sam uttered was bullshit. …except the stuff that was too incredulous to be a lie.  I believed Sam saying they were from a mental institute.  I believe Sam saying he/she walked out after an argument with Sam’s father.  I believe Sam being from Alaska.

Anyway, 90 minutes later, we arrived back at the Starbucks.  I was tired.  I pled for Sam to leave my car, but Sam refused.  I tried to negotiate, threaten, reason, all to no avail.  Sam kept on trying to get me to take him/her to the “real place.”  Sam also tried to get me to call Sam’s best friend, but I called Sam’s bluff when Sam refused to give me the number.  Sam said, right then, I was Sam’s best friend.  Sam was also saying how he/she wanted a wife and be with his/her kids.

Finally, tired of the lies, I walked out of the car and knocked on the door of the pizzeria next to the Starbucks.  I had earlier seen activity there and knew people were inside.  I asked the guys inside to help me remove Sam from my car.  They agreed and proceeded to get Sam to finally get out.  Sam still seemed unfocused and not lucid of the surroundings.  I sat in my car while the pizzeria folks talked with Sam.  They were trying hard to be polite.  They accused Sam of being high and carrying something illegal.  In the end, one of them threatened to call the police.  I left at this point.

At some point, I will return to that pizzeria and try to get an update.  I asked Sam for his/her name during the drive, but Sam never answered that.  I wonder if Sam really was mentally ill and Sam’s obvious sexual/gender ambiguity was related to it.  I don’t know if that makes me feel more sympathy for Sam.  Despite all of Sam’s pleading to drive him/her more, I was just plain disgusted with the lying.  I can only hope Sam finds his/her home.

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